My Creed

Do you believe...?

I've been reading up on various religions out there and that has lead me to a sort of scientific confusion but a spiritual epiphany.  Now, this is all my opinion so if it offends anyone, I apologise as that is not what it was meant to do.

Whilst all these different religions claim to be "The Right Way" - and dogmatically so, I have found that there is in truth, no smoke without fire.  Every religion has its truth.  Otherwise, it just wouldn't be.

Now - All the Abrahamic religions will sit there and gasp at the above comment.  Well like I said I mean not to offend.

See, what the Monotheistic religions (Especially the three main ones) would have everyone believe is that there is only one God.  Whilst I do not dispute that, I do believe (just as in Hinduism) that this one God has many different facets which (s)he reveals to each person in a different way. 

If humans can have different personalities, and we're made from God's likeness, then who are we to decide that God is one.

So... God is omniscient, omnipotent and all that other pretty stuff.  That's great!!! So, what? That means he can see everything all at the same time?  Why does that matter to anyone?  And why should it?  Why should we cower at the thought of God watching over us?  And yet we find solice in the notion that he is judging everyone else.  Since every religion teaches that the important bit is your relationship with your Creator/Lord-and-Master/Holy-One/Saviour or whomever else you choose to call him, why are we comforted by the belief that all other people who don't "find Him/Her" (especially  in our terms) are automatically doomed to eternal damnation?  So human...

Now consider this: All religions always preach harmony and tolerence (and this isn't a new concept - it is in every one of the religous literature that exists), yet humanity is never short of a Jihad, or Crusade or a Reconquista? 

I believe that spirituality is inate.  Just as the colour Red still remains the same, be it called Vermelho, Rouge, Rooi or Hong-se, The Divine is always the Divine; whether you say God, Allah, Yahweh or anything else.  All that matters is your relationship with Him/her/It/Them... 

Religion, on the other hand?  That is a powerful weapon which people use to enslave, degrade and vilify one another for their own personal gain.  A very controversial man once said:

-"Religion is the opiat of the masses"

That man was Karl Marx.  You decide if that is true...

Shake, Shiver, Rattle, Roll... (Written and composed by Ntsaki C Cabana)

This piece of music is a dancehall beat and is basically a ladies' jam.  The kinda music you wanna hear in a club; that all the ladies want to dance to and all the men love to ogle the ladies at.  I am dedicating this song to all my ladies, but most especially to Ms Suzanna Muka. 

CHORUS:
Ladies make it shake
And make dem boys shiva
Use ya body like a rattle
Until dey wanna roll
Yeah, shake
Ya know ya want ta shiva
Like a rattle until dey wanne roll...
We make dem roll
Roll. Cum'an den roll
Roll.

VERSE 1:
From the moment we set foot in da club
(Da club, da club)
All dem fellahs looking over at us
(At us, at us)
And I can  see dey wann a see us breakin it down
(It down)
And I ain't gonna be de one ta let dem down
(Dem down)

PRECHORUS:
No, way to fight da riddim
Gonna make it shake and dance all up on dem
Don't need another call (Huh-uh)
Because dey eyes dey said it all

CHORUS

VERSE 2
Now me and me gals jus had to show dem how its done.
(Done, done)
But dat don't mean dat tonight boy ya gonna be de one
(De one)
Coz I'm only in dis piece tryna have me some fun
(Sum fun)
So dont push up too close esle I might jus have to run
(To run)

PRECHORUS

CHORUS

BRIGDE:
:/Make it shake
Make it shake
Make it sh....
Ohhh Shiva /:

Now roll
Roll, roll
We make dem wanna roll
Roll.

CHORUS til fade.

"Green is for Go!" By Ntsaki C Cabana

Now, this is a song that describes my life and liberation.  It's also pretty emo, but its just waht the doctor ordered.  That is to say, classic wounded victim learns to BE.  I wrote this song in 2005 when I decided that I wanted to become a recording artist and break the chains that restricted that in my life... As if I did. But, in my defense, I still have more time, right?  Enjoy...


"Verse 1:

I always thought if I could play it safe,
I'd never lose,
I'd never hurt.
I never spent to much on what could be,
Believed in me,
Learned how to fly.

Pre-Chorus:
But then I looked into the looking glass.
I saw a hollow tree stuck in barren grass.
I looked inside and saw it wasn't me.
I'd have to fight to become what I should be.

Chorus:

I lived my life on amber
Coz you taght me I could never be
Anything if I just sailed away on my dreams
I sold my dreams and sailed away on a galaxy of real
Now Green is for go
When Amber was just for dreams...
Just for me.

Verse 2:

And now i sit here tryna claim it back -
The loss of time
All left behind
But it's over now, I'm so alive!
I'm finally me -
So finally free.

Pre-chorus:

Coz when I'd looked into the looking glass
I'd seen a hollow tree stuck in barren grass
I'd looked inside and seen it wasn't me
And so I fought to become what I should be!

Chorus:

I lived my life on Amber
Coz you taught me I could never be
Anything if I just sailed away on my dreams.
I sold my dreams and sailed away on a galaxy of real
Now Green is for go
When Amber was just for dreams...
Just for me.

Bridge:

I never really threw caution to the wind coz it's
A part of who I am.
It's what I've been for so long but
I learned to really live and go on what I trust because
All I knew was Amber I appreciate what it means to GO!!
GO!!
GO!!

CHORUS

I lived my life on Amber
Coz you taught me I could never be
Anything if I just sailed
Away on my dreams
Sold my dreams and sailed away
On a galaxy of real.
Now Green is for Go
When Amber was just for dreams.
Just for me

Bridge 2

No safety there for me
I need to take the risk
I got nothing left to lose.
I can't lose if I choose to stay
But can't win if i don't play.
My sun will rise today!!!

Chorusx 2 + bridge 2

till fade..."

Love what you do. And do what you love...

So, I'm starting this blog tonight... I really am not so sure if it's going to be my outlet/ journal or if its going to be random and (probably) neglected...  All I can do is wait it out and see.

I am a simple, complex person.  Confusing much?  I know, right?!! Well, regardless, I'm learning to live with and love that about myself.  Having a mental disorder (Or two) can be downright frustrating.  But it can also be a blast.  Or whatever else you make it.  I've chosen for mine to be a huge amusement park featuring "The Voices" and starring me. 

I love happiness.  I love MY happiness.  I love ME!

*Jamming "Love what you do, and do what you love...."*

Blessings from the Divine,

NtsakiC

I hate you too (Written and composed by Ntsaki C Cabana)

This is a song that I began writing in 2001 at the age of 14.  It involved a very turbulent time in my life.  Although the feelings it represents are real, it is a tad melo-dramatic (Like everything else about me), but was very valid at the time.  Tell me what you think?

You think you're the only one can fuse.
You think I'm just there for you to use?
Well you've had about enough time to choose...
Coz this is my world and in my game you're about to lose.
You smother me like fog; That's when you're glad.
You get physical whenever you're mad.
And it's gotten to the point when I'm always sad.
It's time to say bye to the best time that you've ever had...

Chorus:
And though I love you
More than you do
I hate you too
More than anyone could.
Though I love you
More than you do
I hate you too...

You think you're the only one needs care.
And when I call for you, you're never there.
In only pain and not triumph you choose to share.
Well, I can't stand by and continue to try through all these tears...
You turn to the bottle instead of me.
And this isn't how you promised it would be.
You said we'd be lovers, not nemeses.
If it don't improve, And it better be soon, I'ma have to leave

Chorus:
And though I love you

More than you do
I hate you too
More than anyone could.
Though I love you
More than you do
I hate you too...

Bridge:
I'm tired of crying,
Excusing your lying.
Inside I am dying,
You're not even trying.
Your love is bitter-sweet poison...
And I can't take it any longer so I'm gone...

Chorus +

I'm leaving on a jet plane.
Don't know if I'll be back again.
Don't count on my return, baby.
I'm leaving on a jet plane.
I don't know if I'll be back again.
Don't count on my return baby.